Friends
by Mitzia
Summary: Insight into Dorian's feelings on friendship and Evelyn when she accompanies him to confront his father. Warning! Minor spoilers for Dorian's personal quest


I told her that I could go on my own. I would rather not have gone at all but I knew this was something I had to do just like bathing or breathing. The sooner I nip it in the bud, the sooner I can go back to my life and not have to worry about it. The problem there is that I will always worry about it whether I like it or not. Being human does have its disadvantages after all.

As soon as Evelyn told me she received word from my father, I knew it would come to this. I knew he had sent someone for me. Was it to get me to return home or to marry some other rich trollop for the sake of an heir? I wanted to run away from it all like I had run away from Tevinter to fight for the Inquisition. But, if they could still catch up to me when I left the country to fight alongside their enemy, I never truly ran away, now did I?

As strong and courageous as many paint me to be within the Inquisition, I knew I needed Evelyn to come along. Obviously I didn't say that to her. I denied it until her stubbornness forced me to agree to let her tag along. Funny how manipulation works. Although, Evelyn is just as witty and persuasive as I am so many it was part of her plan too. Being the Inquisitor must give her the humility to do so much easier though.

When we arrived at that grimy tavern in Redcliffe, I knew something bad was going to happen. The spirits were telling me danger was near but danger is always near. There's a hole in the sky with demons falling out like a leaky bucket for Maker's sake. No one ever listens to that sinking feeling and I am no exception unfortunately.

Evelyn knew something was wrong, too. She gave me that side-eyed glance she always does whenever we travel to signal something is nearby. Rogues really are something else and so was what I expected to be waiting for us.

He was there just as tall and stern as I left him back in Tevinter. I felt myself straighten up on instinct like a threatened cat getting ready to pounce.

He wanted to talk but there was nothing to say, not to him. I wouldn't let him talk down to me, not after all that I sacrificed to be here. I told him I didn't want to speak to him and that was the reason for my disappearance but Evelyn spoke up. She was smaller than I was and had a thinner frame for someone who fights day in and day out. She sometimes reminded me of a child that grew up way too fast for the world she was living in. She stood firmly next to me and played the part of the devil by telling me to listen to what he had to say. I had no intention of doing so but her big brown eyes narrowed on me and made me feel silently chastised.

He took this moment of my silence to continue. This wasn't his intention, he says. This isn't what he was here for, he says.

I tell him that I was never what he wanted, that I was never what he was here for whether it was in Ferelden or in my life. I've always had enough of the things he did, the thoughts he thought, and the person he wanted me to be. I was and still am sick and tired of it.

I see Evelyn's stance drop a bit with a perplexed look on her face. She wants to help and do what's right but she doesn't know the situation. I didn't want to tell her. Anyone that knew would push me away. That's what he did. That's why he's here. Friendship is not a common concept back in Tevinter for this reason and while I do not fully know what a friend is, I feel like I could classify Evelyn as one. She's been around many cultures because of the Inquisition but is this one thing she could accept? Even if it was in me?

Usually I am more composed about my feelings, but his presence a few feet away from me throws that out the door. So, I tell her. I tell her about my sexual deviancy and why that is a problem for him and our people

I look at her after I say these things because as confident as I am, I cannot look at her when I admit it. I expected that telltale look of disgust or hatred or even watch her take a few steps back. Instead, I see that little spitfire cock her head with the hint of a smirk so small that only truly sarcastic beings would register. I expected her to hate me or be confused and question or abandon me altogether. Instead, she surprises me by letting a sigh and asking if that was all this tension was chalked up to be.

This did not lighten the anger within my being, but having her support, that strengthened my view of her all the more.

I delve deeper into it before he can defend himself. I tell her about how important family lines are in my homeland and the blood magic ritual he wanted to test on me. It had never worked on anyone before unless the intended result was to turn them into a vegetable. With each heart wrenching memory I bring up, I see his face drop more and more. This will shut him up and open his eyes finally.

I don't know how long I spoke, but I found myself gripping the head of a chair until my knuckles were white under my fingerless gloves while I gasped for air through blurry eyes. I awoke from that trance when a fragile hand touched the top of mine. She spoke my name softly and those brown eyes looked at me almost like a mother would. She would make a wonderful mother if the world was not in the midst of the end.

She takes her hand away from mine but does not leave me side. A small gesture, really, but a grand one at that.

I take one last look at him and without any word, I turn to leave the tavern. Whether it was the right thing to do, only the Maker knows. I don't know how I'll feel once this adrenaline has passed nor will I know if this is the end of that. What I do know is after I walked outside, I heard the door open behind me once more and that short yet marvelously fierce woman stood behind me. If things were different, she would probably have my heart after that debacle.

We didn't speak on the way back to Skyhold. Evelyn is a good reader of the mood. I went to the library just as I always did but instead of reading propaganda on my home country to find clues about Corypheus, I stared blankly out the window.

Again, it was not until a soft hand was placed on my barren shoulder that I snapped out of my thoughts. She stepped back as I turned to give me space. She didn't appear to be disgusted with me but I felt the need to ask if she was. She laughed at the question. It wasn't an awkward laugh either. She genuinely found the idea of being disgusted with me funny. She's a curious one.

She tells me she was only surprised to find that it was such a big deal between myself and my estranged family. I'm not sure how to take it but her smile warms my cold heart even just a tiny bit. She asks if I'm alright and I don't hesitate to give a trademark snarky reply. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head as if to say why does she even bother with a devilishly handsome necromancer such as myself.

In the end, I reassure her that I'm alright for now although this whole meeting was a lot to swallow. She shoots me a gentle smile and calls me on my bullshit but respects that and comes in for a hug. She knows how much I hate that but I don't find the strength to push her away. Evelyn pulls away from me and tells me to come see her when I need it.

She sounded like a friend when she said that. Maybe it was because she was a friend. My friend. I never thought I would see the day when I could call someone that. It was a pretty big thing for me, but Evelyn is resourceful, respectable, and trustworthy. Not considering her to be one was treason. I just hope that I could be just as good of a friend to her. It was at that time while her arms were wrapped around me like a warm blanket that I secretly vowed to protect her whenever necessary. Maybe that would be a start. I'm not too good at this friends thing after all.

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 **Author's Note**

 **I honestly haven't written a word for fanfiction since January but something tonight just told me to sit down and write and somehow I pumped out a 1,500+ story out of nowhere. Dorian is really one of my favorite characters in the whole Dragon Age universe and more than a Dorian romance with the Inquisitor or even Adoribull, I love his relationship with the female Inquisitor the best. He isn't a stereotypical gay friend to a girl, he's like her big brother, her partner, and her soulmate in a non-romantic sense. This is my second and definitely not my last story diving into this relationship. If you want to check out an earlier story about their bond, check out my story "Take Care of Her, or I'll Kill You". Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**

 **Until next time, sayonara~!**


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